My sister is always a challenge.  I asked for a pair of sneakers from her and decided I would get her the same in return.  Over the years we have found that we have very similar tastes in sneakers.  She seems to be generally enthusiastic about the sneakers I wear, and I usually like hers in return.  So I opted to give her free reign to pick out whatever sneakers she wanted for me – brand, color, style, etc.  My search for sneakers led me to a new model by Under Armor which I really thought were a slam-dunk as pictured online, but when I received them in the mail, I was slightly disappointed with the color and the fit of the sneaker, so I decided to keep them but look for another pair just in case.  Like I said, the gift has to be perfect.  I had a brief discussion with my sister during this time at which point she casually mentioned how much she loves Nike Air Max sneakers.  So I decided to focus my energy on the Nike Air Max, but after investigating this particular shoe I just could not envision her liking them.  So I opted for the Nike Free Run in a flashy new monochromatic blue combination.  We both are big supporters of brightly colored sneakers, and I truly felt as if these would illicit the sought after eye-widening response of delight upon opening them.

This was a big mistake and a common one that the majority of the population makes when gift-giving – buying a gift for someone that you like for yourself.  So let me reiterate, despite the fact that she specifically told me she loves Air Max sneakers, I didn’t buy them for her because I, personally, really wasn’t crazy about them.  Now this is where the story gets ironic.  Christmas day is upon us, and it’s my turn to open the gift from my sister.  Lo and behold she has chosen a lovely pair of Nike Air Max sneakers for me!  Imagine my surprise.  After feigning some interest, I finally caved and admitted they were not high on my sneaker wish list.  In her defense, she had no idea that I was not an Air Max fan and she quickly rebounded with another pair of Adidas sneakers that I loved.  Her turn!  She opens the Nike Free Run sneakers and slowly pulls them out of the box.  A slow pull is never a good sign.  A fast, excited pull is a sign of enthusiasm.  A slow pull is a sign of “how am I going to express that I hate these sneakers.”  Come to find out, white-soled sneakers are unacceptable.  So the Free Runs are out.  I quickly grab the Under Armor box in hopes of rebounding as she did with the Adidas, but Strike 2, she really is not enthused with the Under Armor’s either.  The solution is easy.  She keeps the Air Max and I keep the Free Run.   We both end up with the sneakers we bought for each other, but really liked for ourselves.

Even though I screwed up on the sneakers, the true meaning of the holiday was not entirely compromised since we both walked away with a gift we wanted.  And isn’t that all that really matters?

On the first day of Christmas Ultimate Nutrition gave to me, a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 2^nd day of Christmas the Vitamin Shoppe gave to me, two bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 3^rd day of Christmas Foot Locker gave to me, 3 pairs of Nikes, two bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 4^th day of Christmas Gordon Ramsey gave to me, 4 personal chefs, 3 pairs of Nikes, two bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 5^th day of Christmas Lululemon gave to me, 5 new workout outfits, 4 personal chefs, 3 pairs of Nikes, two bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 6^th day of Christmas the latest Flex Magazine gave to me, 6-pack abs, 5 new workout outfits, 4 personal chefs, 3 pairs of Nikes, two bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 7^th day of Christmas my suit designer gave to me, 7 new competition suits, 6-pack abs, 5 new workout outifts, 4 personal chefs, 3 pairs of Nikes, 2 bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 8^th day of Christmas my diet coach gave to me, 8 cheat meals, 7 new competition suits, 6-pack abs, 5 new workout outfits, 4 personal chefs, 3 pairs of Nikes, 2 bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 9^th day of Christmas my imaginary boyfriend gave to me, 9 swedish massages, 8 cheat meals, 7 new competition suits, 6-pack abs, 5 new workout outfits, 4 personal chefs, 3 pairs of Nikes, 2 bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 10^th day of Christmas my trainer gave to me, 10 pounds of muscle, 9 swedish massages, 8 cheat meals, 7 new competition suits, 6-pack abs, 5 new workout outfits, 4 personal chefs, 3 pairs of Nikes, 2 bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 11^th day of Christmas my boss gave to me, 11 bodybuilding.com gift cards , 10 pounds of muscle, 9 swedish massages, 8 cheat meals, 7 new competition suits, 6-pack abs, 5 new workout outfits, 4 personal chefs, 3 pairs of Nikes, 2 bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey.

On the 12^th day of Christmas my blog readers gave to me, 12 new online nutrition clients, 11 bodybuilding.com gift cards, 10 pounds of muscle, 9 swedish massages, 8 cheat meals, 7 new competition suits, 6-pack abs, 5 new workout outfits, 4 personal chefs, 3 pairs of Nikes, 2 bottles of L-Carnitine, and a huge tub of Iso-Sensation Café Brazil Whey!

Finally when I was 31 I decided I was going to become an IFBB Figure Pro.  I specifically remember telling my mom, “This will be easy, I just need to put a little muscle on, do a few shows and I’ll be on the cover of Muscle & Fitness in no time.”  Oh how wrong I was!  I chuckle at my overinflated ego at the time for even thinking such thoughts.  I competed in my first national pro-qualifier this past summer and placed 14^th in my class!  It was an eye-opener that it was going to take a lot more preparation than what I had been doing for the past 2 years if I ever wanted to get close to an IFBB Pro Card.  My off-seasons for the first 2 years were somewhat focused – I trained hard and stuck to my diet, but I had no idea the amount of work and commitment it was going to take if I actually wanted to put on the muscle I desperately needed.  I spent a year and a half training legs with my boyfriend at the time, trying to put muscle on what we referred to as my “twigs” for legs.  Those leg workouts made me question why I was doing this.  Those leg workouts made me hate working out!  For the record, now that we no longer train together I have banned step-ups from my routine indefinitely.  But you know what, I did put muscle on my legs, but they are growing at a painstakingly slow pace which makes me question – what am I doing wrong??

This week I learned what I was doing wrong.  I hired a new contest prep coach this past week after deciding to no longer use the coach I have used for over 2 years.  I need a new perspective – if nothing changes, nothing changes.  My new coach is an IFBB Pro Bodybuilder so he clearly knows something about putting on muscle.  Yesterday I received my new off-season program designed with mindset of cutting some body fat and packing on some muscle.  To say I was a bit overwhelmed might be an understatement.  I was faced with the shocking realization that it was time to get down to work.  My new program made my old one look like cake – which for the record, would be extremely difficult for me to make, but apparently for the rest of the world baking cake is easy.  Nevertheless, I spent the day yesterday contemplating the commitment I really need to make if I want to reach my goal.  It is not a commitment one makes 12 weeks before a show.  The important changes happen all year long and that means sticking to a strict diet and training hard every week.  It means monitoring my heart rate during cardio if he tells me it needs to be between 140 and 150.  It means sticking to one cheat meal a week.  It means using the drive-thru at Dunkin Donuts for my coffee so I’m not tempted to buy a couple munchkins.  It means waking up every day with a goal in mind and going to bed one step closer towards reaching that goal.

So the moral of today’s lesson is that life is not easy and getting into Princeton is definitely not easy.

So now that I am recharged, I have decided to create a new blog, one in which I can expand my array of topics to include not only my thoughts, experiences and insights on health and fitness, but also on things that stimulate me in my everyday life.  I am a huge foodie and LOVE trying new restaurants, eating at old favorites and just general grubbing.  If I want to write about the peanut butter and jelly donut I had at the most amazing donut shop ever in New Orleans, I don’t want to feel guilty doing it on my Personal Trainer page, hence you can now read about unhealthy things like this on my new blog – Food, Fitness & Daily Reflections (www.foodfitnessanddailyreflections.wordpress.com).

I will still be posting blogs on this page pertaining to health, fitness and nutrition, but if you have a craving to read about more than just tilapia and Romanian deadlifts, then check out my new site – it will give you a taste of not only my passion for food, but my quest for spiritual living and finding the best dog groomer.

Now I’m not saying I notice a difference in my body when I eat 5 less almonds in a day, but the biggest commitment I have made to myself is to start listening to my body.  One of the hardest mental challenges for me in the past was to actually take an entire day off from exercise.  I would feel guilty and beat myself up for not being at 100% that day – whether I was mentally fatigued or physically exhausted.  However, I finally came to realize that it is impossible for me to operate at 100% 7 days a week, particularly during a contest prep, when my calories and carbs are lower than normal, my workouts are more intense and my cardio is significantly increased.  I now allow myself one entire day with no exercise per week – no cardio, no weight training.  By the time this day comes around after 6 days of intense exercise, I am mentally and physically operating below my optimal capacity and I am grateful to have a day to completely recover.  By the time I go to bed on my day off, I am excited for the morning to come to get back in the gym.  My motivation and energy has been restored!  This has really made a huge difference in my life.

So when you wake up feeling a complete lack of motivation and physically drained, listen to your body.  Your head will tell you you are a slacker if you don’t get your butt on the treadmill, and that you are lazy if you don’t get to the gym for your chest and tricep workout.  Your body, on the other hand, will thank you for giving it the day to recover and repair itself.  I am still amazed at the complete turnaround my mind and body make after a 24-hour rest.  So eat your almonds, easy on the pickles and be mindful of your body.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

I was sitting here contemplating a good topic for my next blog when I happened to see a commercial on tv advertising a new weight loss product.  It occurred to me that probably the #1 goal for most people at this time of year, as bathing suit season rapidly approaches, is to lose weight.  This is nothing novel or surprising.  No ingenious realization, if you will.  But if I want to write about something that will inspire the masses, I suppose I should write about losing weight.

“Losing weight” is an, often times, misunderstood or misguided goal.  Perhaps a better way to phrase the goal would be to say “I’d like to lose body fat.”  Because if you are toning up, putting on a little muscle and turning your body into a fat incinerator, there is a chance your weight may not drop dramatically.  However your body will have transformed before your eyes!  Generally, however, if you are working out and sticking to a healthy diet, you are going to see the numbers drop on the scale.  It sounds so simple, but what makes it so hard for many of us to lose weight??

There are hundreds of reasons why people struggle with the, often times, daunting task  of getting in better shape.  From a lack of knowledge, to a lack of time, to a lack of confidence, so many factors can derail us from keeping our eyes on the prize – the proverbial prize being those designer skinny jeans we bought over a year ago, but have never worn because they didn’t quite fit when we bought them.  The first question you have to ask yourself is the following: “Is getting in better shape a top priority in my life?”  If the answer is yes, then there should be a natural willingness to make some necessary commitments and sacrifices in order to accomplish this goal.  “Exactly what kind of sacrifices” you ask, with a raised eyebrow.  Not to be Debbie Downer, but you can’t be eating out to lunch every day or picking up chinese takeout from the Golden Dragon because you’re too tired to cook dinner when you get home from along day of work.  You also can’t shrug off your workout because you feel tired or unmotivated.  If you muscle through those negative feelings and thoughts, and stick with your plan of hitting the gym before or after work, you will feel amazing, both physically and mentally – not to mention, I always feel good nodding politely to the poor bastards who are just getting to the gym as I’m leaving.  Often times, hiring a personal trainer is the best way to avoid skipping workouts.  Being accountable to someone that will ensure we get to the gym, motivate us throughout the workout and push us to work hard is invaluable.  I will never stop training with my trainer.  He constantly teaches me new techniques and, more importantly, pushes me beyond my mental capacity.

The sacrifices you make in the beginning of your journey towards losing weight and getting in better shape, will gradually become a habit and a way of life.  They will no longer be sacrifices, rather choices you make because the consequences of these choices lead to so much more than just losing weight.  They lead to positive changes both emotionally and mentally, improved relationships and a general increase in productivity both professionally and personally.  That’s all great, but let’s be honest, what we really want is to look good in our skinny jeans.  So put down the egg roll, throw out the takeout container and get started already!  Make the most of today!

1.  Working up a sweat (surprise, surprise!)

This is nothing new.  I almost hate to list it as #1 because you have heard it a million times, but there is no denying that this is my #1 tool for putting me in a better mood almost instantaneously.  Wikipedia defines endorphins as peptides that are produced by the pituitary gland and the hypothalamus during exercise, excitement, pain, love and orgasm and they resemble opiates in their abilities to produce a feeling of well-being.  Endorphins are released during long, continuous workouts, when the level of intensity is between moderate and high, and breathing is difficult. This also corresponds with the time that muscles use up stored glycogen.  The concept of getting an endorphin rush is strongly appealing, but unfortunately it means I can’t sit on my butt in my comfy chair.  I can only reap the rewards of this “high” by exerting an uncomfortable amount of physical activity.  So this one may not always appeal to you, especially if your bad mood just led you to indulge in an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s.  You may be feeling too weighed down for exercise.  Let’s move on to #2.

2.  Talk with/Write to/Text a Friend

Now the purpose of reaching out to a friend or really anyone in your life – family member, significant other, etc. – is not to vent about your own sorry life and why you feel tired, depressed, lonely or whatever the designated crappy feeling may be.  The purpose is to hear about HIS/HER own sorry life and why HE/SHE feels tired,depressed, lonely and crappy.  Misery loves company and I especially enjoy hearing about other’s misfortunes if it has the effect of distracting me from mine.  Sounds selfish perhaps, but I was clear that I have a low tolerance for pain so I will go to any lengths to relieve it.  Plus who doesn’t love talking about themselves??  Your friends will appreciate the fact that you are reaching out and available to simply listen.   I always feel a little bit lighter when I get off of the phone with a friend and so will they after they unload their problems on to your listening ears.  Little do they know they have just done you a favor.  So there is a chance you just ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s AND you hate talking on the phone.  My final suggestion is #3.

3.  Perform an anonymous good deed.

I would be lying if I said I do this regularly.  I have done it, yes, and I felt great after I did it.  My mom, on the other hand, made it her new year’s resolution last year to perform one anonymous good deed a week.  She stuck to her resolution and at the end of the year she said it had changed her life.  She finds herself doing it constantly now without thinking about it and she feels great.  There are several ways you can go about this.  Here are some ideas:

• www.DonorsChoose.org – go online and make a contribution.  This particular charity makes it easy to help students in need.  Public school teachers across America post classroom project requests on the website.  Requests range from pencils, to violins, to microscopes.  You can browse classroom requests and donate any amount (as little as $1) of money to the one that inspires you.  I love this charity because it gives you direct feedback as to how your dollars were spent.  Is this anonymous?  I guess not since you get a thank you letter for your donation, but close enough!
• Pay the toll for the next car – do you cross a bridge regularly or drive on a toll road?  Pay the toll for the next car that lucks out and happens to follow you.  It feels good to make other people feel good.
• Send a greeting card to a nursing home resident – I know this may sound odd, but one year for Christmas I got the names of about 10 residents at my local nursing home from one of the employees.  I bought holiday cards for them and wrote a nice general note inside, signed Santa Claus.  It felt good to mail those cards.  The nice elderly folks who received them may have found it creepy, however, I’m really not sure, but I’m hoping it put a smile on their face.

Those are just a few ideas.  Be creative.  The purpose of the good deed being anonymous is so that we do not have any expectations of signs of gratitude or a thankful response.  It is purely an unselfish act when we shed the expectations of being acknowledged for it.  Believe me, I love being praised for a good deed, but when I do not receive the gratitude I expect, I become resentful and the entire purpose of doing the good deed in the first place was to make me feel good, not resentful!

There is really no excuse for not being able to perform #3 in your efforts to shed those cranky pants.  I can do #3 sitting on my butt in my comfy chair, computer on my lap, Ben & Jerry’s in my hand.  There’s just no excuse.  So stop sulking and start acting.

I played competitive tennis my entire life and losing a tennis match was the equivalent of my dog dying.  I internalized my loss by telling myself that I am the worst tennis player in the world and I should quit.  These messages were clearly irrational, self-destructive and wildly far from the truth, but I truly believed them at that painful time of loss.

Dealing with loss in a much healthier way has become imperative as a figure competitor.  I have had to recognize that not winning a figure competition does not mean that I lack the body, the skill or the potential to reach my goals in the sport of figure competing.  It means that on that given day all of the pieces of the puzzle fell together just right for somebody else.  Her conditioning was just right, her muscles were full and her posing was dead on.  I will admit that it still stings to lose no matter how many times I tell myself not to personalize the results – even if it’s just a fun bikini contest!  I have found that after I allow myself an hour (sometimes several hours) of repressed distress and irrational consideration of never stepping foot on stage again, I then revert my thoughts towards how the experience has helped me grow as a competitor.  Every competition brings new experiences and lessons to build upon, not to mention greater confidence and a sense of comfort in my 5-inch heels up there on stage.

It is a huge accomplishment for me to be able to brush off a loss with no residual self-doubt.  I try to carry this perspective with me in other aspects of my life such as my personal relationships and my professional path.  For example, when I start to feel frustration about not being where I think should be in my career, I remind myself that every experience I have had leading up to this moment has been necessary in guiding me towards my future endeavors.

So until I win my first competition and score my dream job, I have no doubt I will continue to be an extremely poor board game loser, cry in the shower when I don’t win a trophy and threaten to hang up my clear plastic heels once and for all.

It has felt great to be back on track these past two weeks – and I am not sure I could have mustered the energy and commitment to my workout routine as quickly as I did had I not set my mind to competing in this contest.  Everyone is different as far as what they need to help them get motivated, but I firmly believe that setting short-term goals is an extremely effective way to get focused.  Your short term goals may be different from mine of course.  Walking around on stage in a string bikini and skimpy shorts and a sports bra while others judge your physique may not be your idea of fun!  So think of other goals that would bring great personal satisfaction.  Do you have an upcoming event to shape up for?  What about setting your mind to losing 5-10 lbs by Valentine’s Day?  Or adding 10-15 lbs of weight to your exercises in 4-6 weeks?  All of these are great ways to stop wasting time watching the NFL playoffs (although my boyfriend would adamantly disagree with me on this) and will light a fire under those glutes!

This Saturday is my contest and will conclude my two-week fire-starter.  I feel incredibly fit, healthy, motivated and fired up for 2011.  So even if I trip and fall in my clear plastic heels on stage I will have, nonetheless, come out a winner in accomplishing my goal!

Three weeks from today I will be flying to Sacramento to compete in the NPC Sacramento Bodybuilding and Figure Championships.  I started getting serious with my diet this show in the beginning of the summer and then started my contest prep diet and training in the beginning of August.   Needless to say it’s been a long summer of tilapia, chicken and broccoli and I am quite certain that biting into a piece of sourdough bread when this show is over will surely bring tears to my eyes.  (Why sourdough?  I have no idea.  I read that San Francisco is known for its sourdough so I went with it, but bread, in general, has been the craving of the week.) 

My boyfriend competed a couple weeks ago in the Natural Northern USA Bodybuilding Championships placing 2nd in his class – he did great.  But now I’m pissed because he has had the luxury of returning to a life of normalcy, while I’m stuck trudging through another 5 weeks of watching him eat his little rice cakes of almond butter and jelly at night.  What I would really like to do with those nighttime snacks of his is too graphic for me to relate. 

For some reason I have been so much more emotionally unstable this time around.  I believe it is because I have given 110% for the first time – cutting out my beloved butter spray, condiments, diet sodas and the other little treats I used to allow myself – like a hershey kiss here or a twizzler there.  I have removed all of it for what has been 10 weeks at this point.  The interesting thing is that it forces me to dig deep when emotionally my body and mind are screaming for an outside comfort to take away an uncomfortable feeling I may be having.  I can guarantee a slice of peanut butter cheesecake would take away a sad feeling or a potato chip would surely take away my anxiety about something.  When these “comforts”that most of us seek out to numb uncomfortable feelings are stripped from us, where do we turn?

Well I hate to get wacky on the non-religious folks, but all that’s left is a higher power.  The idea or concept that something out there is bigger than me, more powerful than me and can make me feel as if I’m going to be okay.  Just knowing that something out there has “got my back” is enough to make me realize I don’t need a dunkin donuts chocolate munchkin to bring me inner peace.  Because that kind of inner peace is fleeting.  I need to rid myself of those feelings of discomfort and craving by relying on the fact that I am going to be okay and everything I feel, do, live, have and am is just as it should be.  A piece of sourdough bread is not going to change that.